I often find myself questioning God lately. My husband filed for divorce last month after a two year separation. I've prayed for reconciliation daily. Friends, family, and the church prayed. I've extended forgiveness and love to him on numerous occasions and offered him a chance to leave his girlfriend in Ohio and come home. He has no contact with our four children or our three grandchildren, leaving over 30 years of marriage and everything and everyone he knew and loved behind. I don't understand it and I guess I never will. The years since he left have been filled with numerous difficulties. My health issues have escalated. Yet, with the loss of my husband's income, I have to work as much as I can just to stay afloat, and there still isn't enough money to pay the bills at the end of the month. My dad's health has also declined. Often I am physically and emotionally wiped out just trying to make it through each day.
This morning I turned to one of my favorite passages of scripture: Job: 38-42. Job had gone through a lot of hardships, much worse than what I'm experiencing. He questioned God and got quite an earful when God responded to him. Reading the familiar scriptures always brings a smile to my face.
- "Who is this who darkens my counsel without knowledge? Brace yourself like a man; I will question you and you shall answer me.
- Where were you when I laid the earth's foundation? Tell me if you understand. Who marked off its dimensions? Surely you know! Who stretched a measuring line across it?
- Have you ever given orders to the morning, or shown the dawn its place?
- Have you entered the storehouses of snow or seen the storehouses of hail? Where is the way to the place where the lightening is dispersed or the place where the east winds are scattered over the earth? Who cuts a channel for the torrents of rain, and a path for the thunderstorms? From whose womb comes the ice. Who gives birth to the frost from the heavens?
- Can you raise your voice to the clouds and cover yourself with a flood of water? Do you send lightening bolts on their way? Do they report to you, 'Here we are'?
- Who provides food for the raven when its young cry out to God and wander about for lack of food?
- Do you know when the mountain goats give birth? Do you watch when the doe bears her fawn?
- Does the hawk take flight by your wisdom and spread his wings toward the south? Does the eagle soar at your command and build its nest on high?"
"I know that you can do all things; no plan of yours can be thwarted. You asked, 'Who is this that obscures my counsel without knowledge?' Surely I spoke of things I did not understand, things too wonderful for me to know. You said, 'Listen now, and I will speak; I will question you, and you shall answer me.' My ears had heard of you but now my eyes have seen you. Therefore I despise myself and repent in dust and ashes. (Job 42: 1-6)
The book of Job always brings me back to reality. I know God is sovereign over everything, but sometimes I just need to be reminded! I still don't understand why I'm experiencing the things that are presently happening in my life, and I don't like them. However, I'm filled with awe as I reflect on the majesty and power of God revealed in the closing chapters of Job. Like Job, when I "see" God as He truly is, I can humbly accept each trial and difficult circumstance in my life knowing it's all part of God's sovereign plan.
God blessed Job immensely during the second half of his life. God is like that. He specializes in miracles. He can bring beauty from ashes, and he redeems those who are lost and without hope. A blessing is waiting for us if we persevere through the hard stuff. We may not even see it until we arrive in heaven, but we know the best is yet to come, because with God every life story has a happy ending.
